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Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Daily Show Video Excerpts: "Enemies With Benefits"

It's clips like these that remind me of why I love the Daily Show so much.

In this headlines clip aired in February, Jon Stewart delivers with his hilarious commentary on the fact that the U.S. Military Academy discovered that Al-Qaeda offers an employment contract to its members, which includes some very appealing benefits.

Not only do married males receive a cash stipend as compensation, but they also get a whole week of vacation for every three weeks worked.

Sounds great, doesn't it ?

It does to me. Hell, I don't even get such great benefits at my job. I accrue a single measly vacation day every MONTH.

I have to admit, the Al-Qaeda benefits package sure sound awesome...if you can go three weeks without becoming a suicide bomber. As Jon Stewart points out - the retirement plan isn't so great.

As we all know though, in the Middle East there is no shortage of people willing to blow themselves up.

Stewart reports that in Iran, a Tehran University hosted a seminar for prospective suicide bombers carried out by a group called "The Martyrdom Seekers," also known as "Esteshadion."

Either suicide bombing is a very rewarding career choice, or Esteshadion speakers have excellent persuasive communication skills. According to a Feb. 19 Associated Press report, about 50 students filled out membership applications after speeches by main speaker Mohammad Ali Samadi.

If only the U.S. Military could be so successful at recruiting.

Instead, Stewart goes on to report, the military recently eased its recruitment policies in an effort to increase the number of signups.

Among the changes are more sleep and personal time for recruits, and overweight soldiers will no longer have to skip out on eating dessert at mealtime. Also, the military has instructed drill sargents to tone down the way they handle soldiers in boot camp, "to get rid of the anxiety and worry," as one Colonel said.

My grandfather was a marine during the early '60s and later worked over 30 years as a diplomat for the U.S. Embassy. He takes his service to his country very seriously and hasn't forgotten how much he busted his ass to become a marine and earn respect in his career.

Years ago I remember him complaining that the recruitment policies and nature of boot camps of the U.S. Armed Forces had softened so much that he liked to think that Uncle Sam was out of the picture and "Aunt Sam" was now running the show.

I got a kick out of that back then, and I wonder what he'll have to say once he finds out about the newest changes in recruitment policy ?

Watch the video clip at Comedy Central

Technorati Tags: , Jon Stewart, Daily Show, The Daily Show, Comedy Central, Al Qaeda, Al Qaida, Al Qaeda Benefits, Al Qaeda Employee, Al Qaeda Employee Contract, Military, Military Recruitment, Uncle Sam, Aunt Sam, Martyrdom, Martyrdom Seekers, Esteshadion, Ali Shamadi, Suicide Bomber, Suicide Bombers

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