STEVE MARTIN APOLOGIZES IN ADVANCE FOR HIS NEXT MOVIE, ATTEMPTS SUICIDE
Beloved actor and comedian, Steve Martin, sat surrounded by fans at a Los Ageles bar recently. In one hand was a half empty bottle of Jim Beam he had been drinking and, in the other, a revolver.
“My next movie is really gonna suck,” he said between hits on the bottle. Trust me, I know. I’m in it.”
Mr. Martin was expressing disappointment over his starring roles in a recent string of bad movies.
Added Steve Martin: “I mean, fuck, did anyone see Cheaper By the Dozen 2?”
When only one man toward the back of the crowd said he had, Mr. Martin looked right at him and said, “Oh, so you’re the one.”
The crowd, becoming increasingly uncomfortable, giggled nervously.
“I mean, really, who the fuck do I think I am? Eddie Murphy?,” he asked rhetorically. “I cultivated a successful comedy career, enjoyed fame on Saturday Night Live, and now I am making shitty movies. Yes, I must be Eddie Murphy.”
“Next month I’ll be picking up transvestites,” he deadpanned.
As he got up to leave, Mr. Martin pointed the revolver to his head and pulled the trigger. Only the click of the hammer hitting an empty chamber could be heard.
“Well, fuck it, then. I guess I’ll call up my agent and see if I can remake the Pink Panther. Oh, wait...I already did that. I really am hopeless.”
He then walked out of the bar and right into oncoming traffic. He is recovering at Cedars-Sinai.
Technorati Tags: DogSpunk, Steve Martin, Suicide, Jim Beam, Revolver, Eddie Murphy, Cheaper By The Dozen, Cheaper By The Dozen 2, Pink Panther, Transvestite
“My next movie is really gonna suck,” he said between hits on the bottle. Trust me, I know. I’m in it.”
Mr. Martin was expressing disappointment over his starring roles in a recent string of bad movies.
Added Steve Martin: “I mean, fuck, did anyone see Cheaper By the Dozen 2?”
When only one man toward the back of the crowd said he had, Mr. Martin looked right at him and said, “Oh, so you’re the one.”
The crowd, becoming increasingly uncomfortable, giggled nervously.
“I mean, really, who the fuck do I think I am? Eddie Murphy?,” he asked rhetorically. “I cultivated a successful comedy career, enjoyed fame on Saturday Night Live, and now I am making shitty movies. Yes, I must be Eddie Murphy.”
“Next month I’ll be picking up transvestites,” he deadpanned.
As he got up to leave, Mr. Martin pointed the revolver to his head and pulled the trigger. Only the click of the hammer hitting an empty chamber could be heard.
“Well, fuck it, then. I guess I’ll call up my agent and see if I can remake the Pink Panther. Oh, wait...I already did that. I really am hopeless.”
He then walked out of the bar and right into oncoming traffic. He is recovering at Cedars-Sinai.
Technorati Tags: DogSpunk, Steve Martin, Suicide, Jim Beam, Revolver, Eddie Murphy, Cheaper By The Dozen, Cheaper By The Dozen 2, Pink Panther, Transvestite
posted by Jason KB @ 11:37 AM
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