GEORGE BUSH: BEHIND THE SPEECH

Recently our old pal G-Dubbya admitted to hearing voices and announced rather firmly that he has apparently been annointed as a super-being known only as “The Decider.” Here, read for yourself...


Bush: "I'm the Decider"

Houston Chronicle

Apr. 19--WASHINGTON -- Aiming to revitalize his administration, President Bush nominated a new budget director Tuesday and signaled more personnel changes are imminent.

The president also used the occasion to denounce critics of Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, including the retired generals calling for his ouster.

"I hear the voices, and I read the front page, and I know the speculation. But I'm the decider, and I decide what is best," Bush said, sounding frustrated.

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What are the voices telling him? Nothing about grammar, I’ll bet. I mean, what the fuck is a decider?

But, honestly now, I wonder how many different titles he thought up for himself before figuring that “the decider” was the best. I’ll bet at least several. Here’s a guess as to what some of them might have been:

5: Supreme Overlord of America

4: Captain Courageous

3: The Egg Man

2: The Walrus

1: The Decisioner

Seriously, I’ll bet he almost used the Decisioner. He probably spent several hours daydreaming about being a super hero called The Decisioner, with his own cape and red underwear and everything. The only problem was all super heroes have weaknesses. And, unfortunately for the Decisioner, his actual decisions are the kryptonite that destroys us all.


SparkyTheSpunkyDog adds:

He could also be called "The Watcher," or "The Voyeur," seeing as how he likes to snoop on American citizens without their knowledge and without permission from the courts.


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